I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
