what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
