1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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