Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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