this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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