she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
