Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
