oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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