drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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