Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
