Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
