singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
