...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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