if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
