I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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