my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I could make wine with my vomit
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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