Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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