Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
