i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
