He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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