some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
