So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize