she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
