I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
