i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
