her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
