Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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