Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
