You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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