on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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