I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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