hotties wanna shake it
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me