I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring