Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You can't motorboat a personality
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!