So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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