we have pet lesbian snakes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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