why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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