I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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