I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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