I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
