I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
