Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
