wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wanna passion pit in your ass
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
