Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just sent this text using only my big toe
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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