with your own penis?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
