Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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