In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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