Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
