what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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