Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
