Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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