You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
