Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
