Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
