i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
