I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
