your parents love me but you hate me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
