My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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