I met the friendliest cop last night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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