I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There r osticjed everywhere
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
