Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
