Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
