Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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