there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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