may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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