Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my being single is dangerous.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
